Farewell From the Team

Each of us goes on this trip with our own hopes and dreams, for the world at large and for this journey in particular. Each of us has our own fears and misgivings, too.

We start off on our journey to meet the people of Mhlosheni on Saturday morning. We thought this would be a good opportunity to share with you and with each other the hopes we nurture and the fears we harbor for this journey. Many of them are similar, and common themes run through them all. But each one comes from a unique perspective and a sincere, individual heart.

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Dave Grey
What do I hope to find in Africa? ... With tears in the way as I write this I hope my heart is broken in a way that won't let me forget how much I need to authentically love the people that God loves. Which is all humanity. I want to care and hope for the child we sponser in a way that is beyond the check that I have someone else write every month. If I genuinly want to reflect Christ I NEED THIS.

What worries me most? ... As far as worries go. I have none for myself. I want my travel mates to have an experience of a lifetime. To be changed in a way that moves everyone they come in contact with. I guess I worry that I won't be able to communicate to our body what I hope to get out of this trip.

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Karen Hawley What do I hope to find in Africa? ... I truly do not know what I hope to find in Africa. I fear what I may find, but I don't know what I hope to find.

What worries me most? ... I fear that I will not know how to live out the rest of my life based on what I find there.

I fear that my family will not understand what I will bring back with me and I don’t know what that something will be.

I fear I may return with a knot in the pit of my stomach that may never go away. And I fear that maybe that knot will leave too quickly.

I fear change. I fear not being willing to change.

I do not fear being out of touch, or the food, or the long plane ride, or being in a different culture.

I fear coming face to face with people who are truly grateful for the little they have, and who cannot comprehend all that I have.

I fear meeting little Gcina and not knowing how to express to him how much I think of him... and how I want him to have a happy, fulfilled life, and knowing there is so little I can do for him and his family.

I fear they may teach me more than I can learn in our short visit.

I fear looking into his mother’s eyes and feeling so inadequate at my own mothering.

I fear I may want to live in Africa for the rest of my life.

I fear I may carry ‘guilt’ with me for the rest of my life for having been born in this country and not in Swaziland (silly, I know).

I fear my 2 year old will not understand where mommy is.

And I fear my husband may use the metal cooking utensils in my non-stick pans while I’m away and scratch them all up.

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Amanda Larsen

What do I hope to find in Africa? ... While my body desperately wants a break from my weekly routine, I know this will not be a vacation. I am expecting not only a difficult physical adjustment to the 9-10 hour time change and days of plane travel, but potentially some extremely emotional and spiritual turmoil as well. How do I deal with being face to face with disease and poverty that I’ve only seen on TV? How do I react when I see my sponsored child, Thandiwe, for the first time? How do I process all that is Africa as part of God’s creation when compared to the United States? Although these questions overwhelm me, I am excited at the opportunity to confront them and search for answers.

What worries me most? ... The mental preparation for this trip has truly been one of the hardest things for me to deal with. Since I am yet to discover exactly why God wants me to go, I am unsure what mindset to have. I am not an aide-worker, or a builder, or a pastor, which would be useful in Mhlosheni. I am not going as a math teacher, or a volleyball coach, or a youth leader, in which I actually have experience and training. My only official team duty is “Devotion-creator,” which I signed up for but feel completely incompetent to do. So where can I contribute? What do I have to give? I’m just a young woman with a desire to serve the Lord. Hopefully, that is all God really needs me to be.

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Janel McCoy

What do I hope to find in Africa? ... In Africa I hope to find my ears, eyes, mind, and heart opened to let in what God wants me to learn through the experience. Some times I know I'm not open because I'm afraid that what I learn will require action and action may require changes and I'm not big on change. That said I am really praying for openness. I want to hear what God wants me to hear. I want to see what he wants me to see and so on. I want this experience not to be about me but about what he wants to do in me and through me. We will be bringing hope to those we meet and I want to be that cracked vessel that God can use in some humble way. I believe that each of us has been hand chosen by God for this specific trip. So, God has a specific plan for each one. It's his trip, we are just going along for the ride. I want to come home used up and broken. That's not easy to want!

What worries me most? ... What worries me is that I will not be up to the challenges stated above. That in my humanness I will be looking at the beautiful surroundings, the new experiences, the shopping, fellowshipping with my traveling companions and miss the truly important.


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Erin Mueller

What do I hope to find in Africa? ... I hope to find a renewed hope in the human spirit when I return to Mhlosheni. That is what blew me away when I visited the first time. It caught off guard and I found myself completely surprised...it was amazing and wonderful.

The human spirit, despite the physical conditions, was alive, well, bright, full of joy, and focused on God. I was so uplifted by this...it sustained me for quite some time after I returned home. However, now I find myself very much reintegrated into our society...the mentality, the schedule, the absurdity...I long to rediscover the perspective I had in Africa. I can hardly wait...

What worries me most? ... I'm concerned about not being impacted to the degree I was during our first trip. I can already tell leading up to the trip that my emotions aren't as intense. Part of that is that it is not as unknown to me now; part of that is being immersed in a demanding, new, full-time job that takes a lot of me; part of that, I fear, is complacency. I know what I'm doing to "help the cause" ( e.g., child sponsorship, etc.) and I've not only heard the talks, but given them as well, to not let oneself be overwhelmed by the enormity of the problem.

So, I have settled into a state of being underwhelmed...this comes from good intentions (to not discourage others about the part we can play), but it leaves me not as passionate as before. The good news in all of this is that I know Africa will not only meet but surpass my expectations...of this I have no doubt. Oh yeah, God is in the picture too...He always surprises me (you'd think that would wear off if it happens repeatedy!). So, even though this is my worry, I know that God and the people of Mhlosheni will be the remedy to my situation.

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Susan Sloan

What do I hope to find in Africa? ... I hope for real connections between us on behalf of CRCC and the people of Mhlosheni rather than just meetings. I hope for understanding beyond just feeling emotions. I hope for transformation for all of us that lasts beyond our immediate memories of the journey.

What worries me most? ... My fears are a bit silly: that I’ll be scary to Nomahlanga or scared of her, that I won’t have anything encouraging to say or helpful to do for our friends we haven’t met yet.

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Michelle Smith

What do I hope to find in Africa? ... I hope to discover in Africa a new outlook on helping people. I volunteer extensively in my small community of Corbett, but I want to know a completely different level/aspect of giving.

What worries me most? ... I worry most about my selfish attitude. What about MY jogging? What about MY comfort on such a long flight? What about MY eating needs/wants? What about MY lack of connecting to all my real estate clients while I am gone? What about MY physical comfort during the trip? YUCK!! It truly sickens me to even have to write all this selfish worry on paper (or the computer!) so that I'm forced to look at it in print.

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Michael Thelander

What do I hope to find in Africa? ... I hope to find my compass. The old one doesn't seem to be working any more. When the noise and promises of the world pull me astray I need a pole star, a reminder of what is real and true.

What worries me most? ... I worry that my teenagers won't step up and help their mother while I'm gone. (And that she'll then be tempted to inflict serious bodily injury on their lazy bones.) I fear that Georgia will have bad dreams about snakes, crocodiles, and angry hippos chasing her dad. I fear that I'll find my new compass and bring it home, only to have the iron deposits embedded in my life -- my regrets, my ego, my lack of faith -- feed it false readings and conflicts. I fear I'll forget Mhlsoheni when I need to remember it most.

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Prayers from the Send Team
These are prayers from our Send Team, the people of our Mhlosheni Team who have helped us preprare for this journey and who'll be making their own connections with the people of Mhlosheni in a trip scheduled for spring 2009. They are our lifeline.

Chelsea Reardon
It is my prayer for the team that God would break our hearts for the people of Mholsheni and use our broken hearts to move us to action. That we would be able to build up relationships with the people there and be God's hands and feet. I pray for their safety on the flights there and back home and for their safety during their time there. I pray for God to instill passion and excitement into each and every person on the team so that they could share that with everyone around them.

Shawn Bucher
Lord, help our team to tie what they know in their heads about the suffering that exists in our world with what they feel in their hearts. I pray that they would never forget how blessed we are as a nation, and how great the needs are in our world. Help them to see firsthand the truth behind your word -- that trials and suffering really do lead to greater hope and faith.